If you put a lot of pressure on yourself, relate to being sensitive, feel burdened by just how sensitive you are, or want to understand the Sensitive in your life, this article is for you.
You may know most everything written here. My intention is to strengthen your inner knowing, that deep and ancient wisdom already inside you. You are the master and creator of your life. May what is resonant feed and ground you in your knowing. What is not, please toss away without another thought. <3
Doing it all is a double-edged sword. Making your plate bigger, your expectations higher, and implementing regular self-care on top of work, family, and daily responsibilities can add stress, not reduce it. It is easy to feel like you are coming up short, be consumed by a gnawing sense of dread, shame, self-doubt, falling behind. Its an encompessing force of not-enoughness. This force gathers evidence and grows, eclipsing the ability to feel ok.
For my clients- spiritually inclined, highly sensitive souls, multiply this experience times ten. 10x the pain. 10x the intensity of hard energies absorbed through the world around them. Add that to the false conditioning we all went through, in one form or another, growing up. It has been said people in mastery school have more karma. I consider highly sensitive souls to be old souls, and we came back to be guides in this lifetime. But in order to be guides we have to go through “training.” Some training takes years to recover and make sense of. And even without those traumas, Sensitives come into this world with all systems on. They are processing every kind of information-internally and externally- far more deeply than the average person. They can’t shut this deep processing off. It is a kind of adversity only another highly sensitive soul could understand.
My clients are my greatest teachers and my tribe. They are intuitive, honest, caring, smart, and possess a deep sense of responsibility to make the world better. I have watched almost every client come in with the notion "if I just try harder, work harder, do more, things will improve." Here is where I disagree. I consider that mentality a beast.
Nothing we do from not-enoughness will help us or anyone else….
One reason Sensitives feel stuck is they relate to themselves as the problem, instead of how sacred they are. They compare themselves to “normal” and try to be less sensitive, shutting down their superpowers in the process. Your sensitivity is your direct connection to the divine. It is your life force like the roots of a mighty tree, feeding you. It is communicating wisdom about what you know and need, more profound than logic could ever be. It deserves to be heard, nurtured, and accepted as you do. Usually, the lessons asking to be learned are the very opposite of "try harder, work harder, do more." Such lessons could be self-love, feeling worthy to receive, learning how to feel safe, heal from trauma, being embodied and grounded in the present, demanding more of others while tolerating less BS, not carrying people who need to carry themselves, not giving your life-force away. It is in meeting your need for space, gentleness, tranquility, quiet, beauty, and connections that feed you. It is in learning how to protect yourself and your peace, like your life depends on it. What if it does?
Your life is not meant to be draining.
You are not a do more machine.
You are a beautiful heart and soul.
Your needs matter.
What your heart and soul needs, matters.
But it feels normal to feed the beast. It is what most of us know, what we were conditioned to do. It is the hamster wheel of the ego. If you can just run fast enough, if you can just be enough. But no amount of running ever gets you there. You keep trying to fit into this broken, abrasive, aggressive, and insensitive world on its terms. The result is getting smaller every day. It is like clipping your own wings.
What if you said ENOUGH?
It is not easy to leave the pack mentality behind, the conditioning left inside of you. “Try harder. You can't do that. Stop being so sensitive. You are selfish. Who do you think you are? You care too much. you want too much. You need to earn it first. You are not working hard enough. You are too emotional. It is your fault. You don’t deserve it. Get your shit together.” Conditioning is hellish and all-consuming, but that does not make it true. Conditioning is nothing more than what feels normal, an internal set point, well-worn neural pathways, after a lifetime of believing negative things about yourself and the suffering that goes with it. It feels normal to not be enough. It feels normal to strive, to try and do better, to fit in, commit to things that don’t feed you, to desperately try and fix yourself. To hustle for love.
Our conditioning is our ego. It is the wound of not-enoughness. We feel separate from the whole. This is what the Buddha taught, that all suffering comes from feeling separate. Through the eyes of the ego we will always come up short, and be on the outside looking in. We all have an ego and its message of deficiency. This is to be human. So if ego is the motivation to do something- even something inherently wonderful- it will never feel enough. Separateness cannot complete itself.
Only love is complete and you are this love. Only love is the truth. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING needs to be added, taken away, or done to love. Love just is. It is every cell of who you are, in every moment of your life. It is the messy, painful moments, and the moments that actually feel good. I believe this is what Jesus meant by the kingdom of heaven. It is here now inside of us, always was, always will be. We can receive this heaven when we let go of the illusion we are not enough. You can forget and then come back again. Forget, come back. Forget less. And this is the real and only work. Come back. For this love is untouched, undamaged, and unconditional. You are this love already, and a crucial, beloved piece of every living thing. It is not upon reaching some goal or destination of the perfect woke superwoman- who balances her kids on her head while fighting evil with her left hand and meditating with her right……. it is in the stillness. You are, were, and will always be whole, complete, one, pure love dear.
In the presence of this moment, every cell of life loves you,
bends to you, sings to you, reassures you, blesses you.
Anything you hear besides this love is just that pesky old conditioning.
It is a radio station of static playing over pure, infinite, unfathomable peace.
That static, that noise, has nothing to do with you.
Turn the dial.
So once again, because reassurance is healing- the work is not to do more, be more, fix it. Nothing will feel good coming from not-enoughness. No amount of yoga, healthy eating, helping a friend, doing overtime at work, self-improvement, or going to the latest protest will bring love to “I am not enough.” Only truly feeling love for ourselves and others at this moment, can do that. Love is a very different kind of work. It is that choice to come back, to see the ego playing static and turn the static off. This is the muscle and practice of faith. We have to practice believing we are love and make choices from this place. Faith is an action, an application.
As a Coach, I help people develop and prioritize the practice of enoughness. I help you change the dial from static to love. I support you to come back to the love of who you are again and again. It is a bridge back to your true self. And in the miraculous clearing that starts to emerge, behold your inner guidance! I help you listen to what your heart and soul desires, not what you need to “fix.” As of right now, as well as my blogs, articles, and videos, there are two resources I offer to assist you in this practice. I offer a 1:1 coaching program and a biweekly support group for highly sensitive souls.
If this article speaks to you, perhaps it is time to unfold your wings and feel your majesty. Let life's love for you pour in and lift you up, as the practice. Yes? Then I designed the Take Your Crown Coaching Program with you in my heart. If having a personal Coach could support you, click here to learn more about my program and style. Maybe? Not sure? Then please consider a free consultation. Click here to sign up. I am taking on a handful of new clients in the Fall. It would be an honor to work with you. <3