Can you believe it’s almost February? I hope you and yours are warm and safe. I offer you a blanket of wellbeing as a prayer, sent out on the howling winds of our year’s first blizzard. May you feel cozy and protected, may you have and take the time and space to meet your needs, and feel love for yourself. May you appreciate yourself right where you are (and right where you are NOT), unconditionally, the way you deserve. For we all need love, not to be ‘fixed.’ <3
I have an odd confession to make. Winter is my favorite. Sure, the lack of warmth, sun and access to the world (for much bigger reasons than winter alone,) challenges and affects me too. But I find the stillness, quiet and overwhelming beauty to be a relief for my highly sensitive nature. Having an entire season beckon me to go within is a happy (if not easy) invitation! Hibernation is biological after all, even if our society does not respect slowing down. Our bodies do. Boy will my body force me to stop if I push too hard. I learned that lesson the hard way at first. But slowing down has become a core value over the years. ‘Less is more’. It’s been healing to be present to what is actually happening, instead of fighting it or planning the next moment. This includes accepting my emotions and physicality. It’s been healing to release resistance and denial, one moment at a time.
Being present allows me to receive. The flicker of a solitary candle in the dusk, a small rose bush in bloom on my counter, the hums of white noise in my home, the smell of sage and essential oils I love so much. It’s the precious little things these days. It’s the gratitude of being loved and cared for by others and the honor of others allowing me to love and care for them. Perhaps most awe inspiring of all, in glimpses of awareness like the sun breaking through clouds, I realize I am held by the universe. I can actually feel being held beyond what I can comprehend. I forget again still. But then I remember. ;-)
For anyone committed to self growth and healing, you know it can be one step forward and two steps back, sometimes. It can be crazy-making, ‘I thought I already did this’, ‘not this lesson again!’ exasperated at blank soil where I was sure I toiled and labored, planting many new seeds in the ground. Is anything working? It can be easy, especially for those highly sensitive, ambitious and god forbid perfectionistic, (I don’t know anything about that) to not see how far we’ve come, to not give ourselves credit for the smallest victories. It’s the daily choices that transform our lives over time. It’s the baby step you took today that you could not take yesterday.
When is the last time you truly stepped back and acknowledged how far you’ve come?
Or at the very least, acknowledged your wins today?
I see you in your garden daily, we all want healing change.
I see you bringing more love and growth to your life, one seed at a time.
My ability to feel safe in the present moment, safe in my body, and connected to a benevolent universe was not something that happened overnight! It’s still a daily commitment to grow and heal. I get down on my knees in the dirt. But when I think back to where I was five or ten years ago, I have a whole universe to be grateful for. And, I should be grateful for myself. I did not let fear, darkness, or trauma keep me prisoner. I did not let others tell me ‘it’s not possible.’ I kept my dreams alive. Some are still seeds in the earth, but my dreaming heart beats inside of them, undeterred (even when I am!) I am more free than I could’ve imagined all those years ago. And I have plenty more freedom to fight for. <3
Thank you for reading my newsletter and for following my work. It means a lot to me. Every person who has tuned in, I appreciate you deeply. I hope that I can be a source of support, and a mirror to your beauty, your worth, and your sacred journey. I believe from the bottom of my heart, we are all so wise and needed, each in our authentic self. This winter I wish for you a chance to slow down, to appreciate how you really feel about things, to receive as best you can in the moment, and to give yourself credit for every new seed you plant.
See how far you’ve come. You deserve to revel in your courage and perseverance. You deserve credit for showing up every day in the desire to heal and grow. That takes something extraordinary. We can each and everyone of us, write a book. You know what you have been through. You know how much it took and still takes. And here you are. I bow to you brothers and sisters.
With you in this,
Erin Dolan, NBC-HWC, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach
Certified Integrative Health Coach & AKA Your Loyal Knight
Why do I call myself Your Loyal Knight?
Because you dear, are SOVEREIGN and the one true expert of your life. <3
MUD TO MAJESTY
Coaching for the New Paradigm